Talk about Sex

Breaking that awkward moments with your parents

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slip of tongue or auto-correct, whacha think?

1

mom just wore her glasses and realized its not eyes

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googling yourself…

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Parents know, it’s instinctive!

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Beauty secret

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WTF!

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It’s payback time.

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great pickup sex lines.

Year-ender naughty pickup lines!

2012 holiday season had passed, I hope y’all had a great time! For some enigmatic reasons, they say that 83.7% of the total world population, is in the mood for love making, random consensual-sex, getting laid, smooching here there and everywhere, cuddling-anytime-you-want during yuletide season…

Do you actually believe that? And maybe this is the very reason, why December, is the best time people throw more pickup lines, to get laid or at least set the mood :D, compared to any other months of the year. Without further adieu, here are the best Christmas & New Year’s pickup lines?

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#1: Believe me, if you ever saw it, you would even say it grows

#2: In the spirit of Christmas, would you like to jingle my bells?

#3: Let’s go somewhere and make this as not-so-silent-night.

#4: It’s 2013! Let’s start the year with a bang!…..on the floor!

#5: If your left leg is Christmas, & your right leg is New Year, can I visit you between the holidays?

#6: That’s not a candy cane in my pocket, but that’s for you honey!

There you have it! So would you like to share some of your signature holiday pickup lines too? I’m psyched to know! 😀

P.S. I’m just shitting on the population statistics thingy, just made that up 😛

Have a great day and head, I meant ahead!

Fornication

This is just gonna be my post where sexual lingo is no longer a taboo, I get to answer you with full of witty shits, are you ready?

Question: Hi, my boyfriend and I had been together for a year now, we have not touched each other but for the past 3 months he’s been asking for it, what will I do, how can I be sure that he is not only after that?

Honey, only your guy can tell you what’s running on his head. (head on top) But I’m sure about one thing though, he has a magnetic penis and he will keep on asking that from you. If you think he deserves that private of yours, give it to him. I can’t assure you if he will stick to the relationship when you lost that “V” thingy because I am not a psychic!

Question: Hi there, I wonder if my gf’s vagina is giving me an itch when we mate.

Before you point finger to your partner, make sure that chopper of yours is clean. And when we say clean, you wash it regularly, and of course with soap. Now when that’s done and still getting that itchy feeling EVERYTIME, then it’s time to see a doctor, maybe your girl had something inside her.

Question: I’m 35 years old and I’ve been playing my dick like 6 times a day, is that normal?

Hell no, get a job for god’s sake! Oh I’m not talking about Handjobs, look for a legit job where it will take your time and not just masturbate the whole day. Once or twice a day of playing is normal, anything goes over, it’s either you gotta see a psychiatrist or you’re just plain lazy in life.

Question: Is this true: sexual position can help you conceive a baby gender of your choice.

I think this is a myth. A lot of couples/parents want a baby boy, but the ratio of the population is already 1:8. Conceiving a baby of your choice is like a hit or miss thingy. If you don’t get it the first time, then try some more.

Question: Hi, I’m a lesbian, I wonder how can I please my partner other than using my tongue?

Use sex toys, with a size of a 7 or 8.

Question: My boss, who’s already married, is harassing me at work by dirty talks or by touching my privates and I don’t know how to stop him, I’m afraid he will fire me at work, I badly needed my job.

This is simple, find a way to bait him, set him up, a recorder, a video anything and coordinate with someone from HR. Tell him that there is no fucking way he can touch you, unless you wanted to be his “other woman.”

Question: I’ve been married for 8 years, got two kids, but sex is not anymore awesome. I am tempted to try other flavors, if you know what I mean.

Of course I know you are being a douchebag and just couldn’t control the urge of that dick. Just so you know how it feels, imagine if someone bangs your wife, and that someone will give her the best orgasm she never had with you, are you still thinking of screwing younger girls? I bet you just lost your appetite.

Question: I’m two-months pregnant, but don’t know who’s the father, please help!

What you need to do is to stop whoring. Yes you heard me. You are responsible in putting yourself in this dilemma by shagging two, god knows how many men all at the same time. Whatever you do, the poor child is not to blame, so don’t even think about causing shit on that fetus.

Cybersex

Cybersex can expand your imagination, your verbal (and typing) skills, and your self-confidence. Learn more about folks who enjoy “virtual” sex by hooking up online. <—I saw this line in another website and that triggers the question to wonder about cybersex, but is Cybersex can be considered sex?

Sex on the ‘Net: late at night in a dark, in ur quiet room. You enter in a chat messenger with lusty self-portraits and requests, aimed at strangers whose “handles” read like vanity license plates: Cumgood. 69ForU.

What exactly are these ppl doing? Many more have one hand on the keyboard and one on themselves (typing lots of words with too many lacking letters). Others do their foreplay on-line, then consummate alone, after signing off (paying for the arousal, coming for free).

For some countries, this thing is real and thus it is part of their everyday lives. Some people enjoys it and would crave for more. For them it is a “safe sex,” a play space with virtually no serious consequences for mistakes. It’s the chance to explore ourselves and the dynamics of intimate relating, without the fear of hurting self or others.
For some practitioners, cybersex is an amusing adjunct to satisfying sexual relationships, monogamous or otherwise. In that sense, they can take it or leave it; it doesn’t touch them deeply, and they can easily let it go if they want to.

Is it sex? So what makes something sex? Orgasm? Nah, you’ve had sex without coming.

Cybersex is sex because the cybersexer is experiencing her/his own erotic energy. It doesnt matter whether you pretend to be someone else or not or whether you are in one room and having the genitals contact.

By all means cybersex is sex. What’s next? It raises intriguing issues such as consent and infidelity. Of course that is another matter.

Would you have cybersex with someone you met through an online dating site? Would you go on a date with someone you met through a cybersex chat room?

No one knows how many people are doing it. And maybe, just maybe..you’re one of them.

Sexy Time

Alright, I don’t know how it started, it just happened. Chuckles and naughty thoughts insert here. All I know is that it feels great that sometimes we do things because that is the call of the situation, unplanned and kooky stuffs that makes the moment more exciting and spontaneous. Of course if we are on our normal state when we did that, pundit will regret doing that. Whatever it is, i just find it crazy and heart-stirring at the same time. Yes we had our sexy time.